Healing Attachment Wounds: Where Your Body Holds the Story
Understanding Attachment Through a Somatic Lens
Your earliest relationships shaped more than your beliefs—they shaped your nervous system's responses to connection, safety, and intimacy. These patterns live in your body, not just your mind.
Maybe you find yourself:
Repeatedly choosing unavailable partners
Feeling anxious when relationships get close
Shutting down emotionally when you need connection most
Struggling to trust even when someone is trustworthy
Feeling "too much" or "not enough" in relationships
Unable to ask for what you need without overwhelming shame
These aren't character flaws. They're protective patterns your nervous system learned early—and your body still remembers.
What Is Attachment-Focused Somatic Therapy?
Traditional attachment work often focuses on understanding your patterns cognitively. But insight alone rarely creates lasting change because attachment wounds are stored in the body.
Somatic Experiencing therapy helps you:
Recognize somatic attachment patterns:
How your body responds to closeness and distance
Where you hold tension around connection
Your nervous system's automatic protection strategies
Physical sensations that signal attachment activation
Rewire your nervous system:
Building capacity for healthy connection
Developing secure attachment responses in your body
Learning to stay present during relational discomfort
Creating new neural pathways for safe intimacy
Heal developmental trauma:
Early neglect or inconsistent caregiving
Emotional unavailability in childhood
Ruptures in primary relationships
Generational trauma patterns
Attachment Styles & the Nervous System
Anxious Attachment (Hyperactivation)
Your nervous system learned that connection requires hypervigilance. Your body may experience:
Racing heart when a partner pulls away
Difficulty regulating without reassurance
Physical anxiety around separation
Compulsive need to check in or reconnect
Somatic work helps: Regulate your nervous system independently, build internal safety, and stay grounded during relational uncertainty.
Avoidant Attachment (Deactivation)
Your nervous system learned that connection feels dangerous. Your body may experience:
Physical shutdown when emotions arise
Numbness or disconnection during intimacy
Chest tightness or restricted breathing around vulnerability
Strong impulse to escape when things get "too close"
Somatic work helps: Gradually build capacity for intimacy, recognize shutdown patterns before they take over, and stay present with emotion.
Disorganized Attachment (Conflicting Responses)
Your nervous system learned that the source of safety was also the source of danger. Your body may experience:
Simultaneous desire for and fear of closeness
Rapid cycling between anxious and avoidant responses
Dissociation during moments of connection
Freeze responses in relationships
Somatic work helps: Create coherence between your conflicting impulses, develop safety in your body, and build stable relational capacity.
How Attachment Healing Works in My Practice
1. Body Awareness & Pattern Recognition
We start by noticing how attachment shows up in your body:
What sensations arise when you think about connection?
Where do you hold tension in relationships?
How does your breathing change around intimacy?
What does safety (or lack of it) feel like in your body?
2. Nervous System Regulation
Building your capacity to regulate your own nervous system:
Resourcing exercises to create internal stability
Pendulation between activation and calm
Developing a felt sense of safety
Learning to stay present during discomfort
3. Relational Repair Through the Therapeutic Relationship
The therapy relationship itself becomes a place to practice:
Secure attachment with a consistent, attuned presence
Rupture and repair in real-time
Setting boundaries and asking for needs
Experiencing healthy connection in your body
4. Integration & Real-Life Application
Taking your healing into your relationships:
Recognizing activation patterns as they happen
Choosing new responses from a regulated nervous system
Communicating needs from groundedness rather than panic
Building relationships that feel secure in your body
Who Benefits from Attachment-Focused Somatic Work?
This approach is particularly powerful for:
✓ Women in relationship transitions: Divorce, dating after trauma, or breaking unhealthy patterns
✓ Mothers healing their own attachment: So they can offer secure attachment to their children
✓ Late bloomers exploring new relationships: Especially LGBTQ+ women navigating connection in new ways
✓ Adults with childhood trauma: Neglect, emotional unavailability, or inconsistent caregiving
✓ People tired of repeating patterns: You understand your attachment style intellectually but can't seem to change it
✓ Those in couples therapy seeking individual work: Preparing yourself to show up differently in partnership
The Somatic Difference in Attachment Healing
Traditional talk therapy might help you understand:
Your attachment style
Why you choose certain partners
How your childhood shaped your patterns
Somatic Experiencing helps you transform:
How your body responds to connection
Your nervous system's automatic reactions
Your capacity to stay present during intimacy
The actual felt experience of secure attachment
Understanding is important. But lasting change happens when your body learns a new way of being in relationship.